The relationship you have with yourself often mirrors the relationships you’ve had with others.
Attachment wounds can look like:
1. Harsh self-criticism
If care or acceptance felt inconsistent, you may have learned to be tough on yourself to “stay in line.”
2. Difficulty trusting your own needs
You may minimize your needs, second-guess your feelings, or fear that needing support makes you a burden.
3. Trouble setting boundaries
When you’ve been conditioned to keep peace or earn approval, saying “no” can feel unsafe or guilt-provoking.
4. Feeling unworthy or “not enough”
Old messages from caregivers or past relationships can become internalized, shaping how you view your worth.
5. Emotional avoidance
You may push emotions down, distract, or stay busy because sitting with your inner world feels overwhelming.
These patterns often operate outside of awareness — until they start affecting your wellbeing or your relationships.
Why Noticing These Patterns Matters
Awareness is the first step toward healing. When you can recognize that these behaviors come from past wounds — not present reality — you begin to create space for new patterns, new ways of relating, and new emotional experiences.
Healing attachment wounds is not about perfection. It’s about becoming more grounded, more self-aware, and more compassionate toward the parts of yourself that learned to survive.
How Therapy Can Support Healing Attachment Wounds
Therapy offers a safe, supportive place to understand your patterns and learn new ways of relating to yourself and others. A therapist can help you:
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Recognize the origins of your attachment patterns
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Build secure internal resources so your nervous system feels more grounded
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Strengthen communication and boundaries
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Develop self-compassion instead of self-criticism
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Rewrite old relational templates by experiencing a safe, consistent therapeutic relationship
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Create healthier, more secure connections in your life
Healing attachment wounds takes time, but you don’t have to do it alone.
Trail of Growth Psychotherapy can support you in navigating these patterns and building more secure, fulfilling relationships — both with others and with yourself.
Kristena Disalvo
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